Communication skills are something that are a necessity to everyone. To some people they come naturally while to others, speaking is not as straight forward. I put together this list of simple things you can work at to improve your communication skills to help people be more confident and avoid miscommunication. They are only suggestions and this list is by no means complete. These were only chosen because they are the problems I notice most often in my own in my own communication.
10: Think about all your options before saying anything This to most seems like second nature because it seems counter productive to speak without thinking. None the less its very easy to speak rapidly and not realize exactly what has been said. Take a little time to plan out what you have to say can be the difference between resolving a conflict and having it blown out of proportion.
9: Choose your words carefully Language is a very powerful tool as it represents the main way we communicate with the world around us. Words have different implied meanings for different people and can often lead to confusion or jumping to conclusions. Make sure you know exactly what the words you are using mean and make sure that they mean what you want to say. Don't use slang, buzz words, technical terms or obscure vocabulary unless you are positive that the person you are communicating with will understand and even then use them only sparingly.
8: Don't make assumptions Assumptions and jumping to conclusions seems to be a major cause of miscommunication. In our high paced, high stress world it is easy to try to save time and brain power by assuming we know what someone says before they've even finished speaking. Its also very easy to jump to conclusions that are what we want to hear, based on preconceived notions, or simply the worst case scenario. This is a difficult habit to break as time is very valuable, but to take a moment and make sure that you know exactly what is being said and not jump to conclusions can save headaches, and save time in the long run.
7: Take the time to explain This is the inverse to the previous suggestion and can be a real preventative measure against miscommunication. Not only should you try to make sure you understand what other people are saying, but you should try to make sure that other people know exactly what you are talking about. This is really a different facet of suggestion #8. It is easy to assume that others know exactly what you mean but everyone's perception is different. Don't assume that other people perceive what you've said the same way you do. Taking a minute or two to elaborate and explain a given statement will help those listening to not jump to conclusions and to form accurate opinions.
6: Be direct and to the point This may seem like a contradiction to the previous suggestion but it actually goes hand in hand with it and with suggestion #9. When choosing your words, choose the words that express your point as directly as possible. Beating around the bush and skirting the issue is more likely to cause confusion than to solve anything. This doesn't contradict the previous suggestion because you should still try to explain your ideas further, but due directly and accurately. In the long run taking time to explain your idea and elaborate directly will take less time than beating around the bush once.
5: Don't be afraid of confrontation or admitting fault Every opinion is valid and deserves consideration. People are often afraid of confrontation or admitting they wrong. This goes hand in hand with suggestion #1 as the most important rule suggestion for communication. By eliminating the fear of admitting you are wrong, or the fear of contradicting the ideas of a colleague, the problem can be addressed sooner and more accurately. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone's opinion is different so voice yours and admit when it was incorrect or inaccurate.
4: Take your ego out of the equation. Probably the hardest thing to overcome in communication is ego. Ego is dangerous to communication because it can become embedded in everything said whether you are trying to or not. Its easy to subconsciously talk down to people especially when they have asked you a question or for advice. In extreme cases others can pick up on this and may be less likely to believe you, come to you for help, or respect you. Everyone needs to have self confidence but that self confidence should come from your accomplishments, not from comparing yourself to others. By recognizing when you are inadvertently talking down to people, or when it can be perceived as that, you can adjust your phrasing accordingly and people will be more likely to listen, to understand and to consider what you have said.
3: Be confident in what you have to say but not overconfident This goes hand in hand with suggestion #5 and suggestion #6. As a way to limit the damage their opinions can cause people will avoid being confident in their own ideas. Everyone's opinion is valid and deserves consideration so if you have something to say, then stand behind that statement whether it is right or wrong. At the same time the flip side of this is to be overconfident. Confidence is great and while ego should be avoided as well, overconfidence can be just as dangerous. Being overconfident can lead you to misjudge disregard or ignore other people's ideas. Potentially the best idea can then go unheard.
2: Consider all the consequences of what you have to say before you speak Words have consequences just like actions do. When you speak try to consider how your statement can be interpreted. Don't necessarily change what you would say, or shy away from what you believe, instead just be aware of the consequences and be read to accept and deal with them. If you cannot handle every possible consequence, or believe that one consequence is not an acceptable result, then reconsider what you should say. This goes along with most of these suggestions especially #10.
1: Be honest to yourself and to everyone else Probably the most important suggestion that can be made about communication is to be honest but not only to other people but to yourself as well. A person can talk themselves into anything, make sure to consider all the reasons you may want to say something before you do to make sure you know exactly why you feel that way. Then be honest about how you feel. You cannot fault someone for being honest, but its worth taking the time to make sure of your feelings before speaking, then you know you are being truly honest to everyone, yourself included.
I hope that these suggestions for improving communication come in handy. Some of them are pretty complex to understand and to recognize when you're not following them. Again, these are only suggestions and I'm sure there are thousands of others out there, but I hope that these 10 can offer some insight into why miscommunication happens and how to prevent it |
