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Back to Humor

Can Errands Be Walked?


by Knight Pierce Hirst

When I was growing up, stores were closed on Sundays - which put the run in errands. Today's different. Today's 24/7 and there's time to walk.

Once a week I walk to the farmer's market - the land of fresh vegetables, free-range eggs and raw nuts. Once a week I buy food to compensate for the packaged, frozen and take-out food my family usually eats. Actually, I don't need to go to the farmer's market every week. I've discovered that fresh food can't be cooked with good intentions.

Good intentions, however, have reduced the amount of clothes I take to the cleaners. Now I read labels. Now I buy clothes that can be machine washed. My husband's shirts can be machine washed; but because I'm ironing challenged, I've scorched a few. Thus, for the sake of our marriage, I've asked John not to use four-letter words when he talks about his shirts - and iron is a four-letter word.

Then there's the car wash. It's not just for washing cars anymore. While I'm waiting for my car to be returned to its original color, I can buy greeting cards and inexpensive gifts. Whoever invented car washes with gift shops is truly - gifted.

I'm definitely not gifted at the hardware store. Last week I tried to find "one of those little things" that stops toilets from running - from making the noise that sounds like water torture when you're trying to sleep. Who knew those little things came in different sizes. Things like that put the hard in hardware.

Being over forty puts the pharmacy on my errand list at least once a month - more often if I try a new weight machine at the gym. Although I haven't qualified for handicap parking at the pharmacy, I should qualify for it soon at the computer store.

Parking should be free at the library. This would encourage reading and save my change for paying fines. I recently had to explain to the librarian that I was going to look for a missing book until the late charges were more than buying the library a new book.

Because I can't do all my errands on Saturdays, I squeeze some in on my way to and from appointments during the week. Because of this I think I know what it will say on my gravestone. I think it will say "Just doing another errand".

About the Author
Knight Pierce Hirst takes humorous looks at life. Take a minute to make yourself smile at http://knightwatch.typepad.com
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