Why don't I ever see a half-empty bag of potato chips or a few peanuts left in a bowl? We must have convinced ourselves that snack food doesn't have as many calories because we eat it with our hands. But if that's right, maybe it applies only to right-handed people.
Why don't people make an effort to throw empty potato chip bags in a trash receptacle? What do these peoples' homes look like? If you asked them to properly dispose of the bags, would you get trash talk in return?
Why don't men ask for directions? I used to think it was because they were embarrassed to be lost. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe someone has previously told them where to go without their having asked for directions.
Why do people cross the street when the hand sign is already blinking red? If they did that in New York City, they'd be dead wrong.
Local TV stations broadcast car chases because viewers want to see them. I understand that. What I don't understand is why viewers want to see them. Do they really think the driver is somehow going to escape the police? Are there really people who think in real life the tortoise would beat the hare?
Luggage on wheels is a great invention. It makes getting luggage from one place to another so easy travelers forget they're pulling mini eighteen-wheelers. They suddenly stop and I whack my foot on their suitcase. Why don't these suitcases have a little sign on them saying, "How Am I Pulling?" - followed by a 1-800 number?
Pink houses look good in Bermuda and in the Caribbean too, but I can think of only one reason why someone in the middle of conservative Rhode Island would paint their house pink - not just pink, but pugnacious pink. The person must be confined to the house because of illness, but wants to be in the pink.
Why do dogs turn in circles before they lie down? Is it because they know they won't be getting around for awhile? Why after a first date do guys say they'll call? Why do girls believe them? Postponing disappointment doesn't make you happier. Just ask any Chicago Cubs fan.
I used to wonder why politicians made promises they didn't keep, but I figured it out. They do it for the same reason children do it - to get what they want. |
