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Back to Humor

Ever Had One Of Those Daze?


by Knight Pierce Hirst

Last Thursday was one of those "daze" I should have stayed in bed. The day began with me, my family and my job in balance. By the end of the day I had trouble balancing toothpaste on my toothbrush.

As I pulled the bedcovers over my head that night - yes, night eventually came - I was thankful tomorrow was a new day. I was thankful I had no idea what it would bring.

Then I said a little prayer asking for tomorrow to be "less challenging". Yes, less challenging was a euphemism; but every day is a gift and I didn't want to sound ungrateful when I was praying.

My husband has a poem from childhood. "Today I'm going to be happy. Today I'm going to be glad. Today is going to be the best day I've ever had".

Unfortunately, he never voices this rhyming optimism when we're about to leave on a romantic weekend. I suppose if he recited it that infrequently, he'd have forgotten it a long time ago.

In fact, the last time he broke out in verse our son remembered he needed two dozen cookies for a class party THAT day; two men in muddy, work boots came in from the rain to clean the carpet; and as soon as they left, the cat vomited a hair ball the size of Rhode Island.

It's because of days like that I don't want to know what the future holds. I wouldn't dust a crystal ball if I had one.

I don't read horoscopes. After offering to help with a friend's garage sale, I read that it was a bad day for Geminis to make hasty decisions.

If I'd read that horoscope before offering to help, Cousin Walter wouldn't have found out I was trying to sell the plastic, fish bowl clock he'd given me.

Even fortune cookies have spoiled my taste for the future. Last year a fortune said I was going to make a new acquaintance. A few days later I met someone in the supermarket parking lot - when I opened my car door into her car.

I haven't eaten a fortune cookie since. I decided fortunes wouldn't come true if I didn't eat the cookie.

For me taking one day at a time works best. Grandmother was right. To worry about the future is to borrow trouble - and I don't know where to return it.

About the Author
Knight Pierce Hirst takes humorous looks at life. Take a minute to make yourself smile at http://knightwatch.typepad.com
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