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Back to Humor

Whatever Happened To...?


by Knight Pierce Hirst

Whatever happened to the past seven or eight hours? That's what I ask myself when the alarm clock goes off. Because I feel like I just closed my eyes, it's hard to believe it's time to get up. Maybe I should make myself wake up during the night so I can appreciate having been asleep.

I'm at the age when there are lots of "whatever happened to's" in my life - like glasses. Although I have pairs strategically located throughout the house, I can't see my way to find them.

When I was growing up, my mother couldn't find her pencils, scissors or tape. I, of course, didn't know where they were. It was like her desk was located in the Bermuda Triangle. On the other hand - the one with the "borrowed" pencil - dish soap, laundry detergent and vacuum cleaner bags never disappeared.

Five cent candy, ten cent phone calls and fifty cent coffee have disappeared too. As rising prices drive me away, I must be seeing life through a side view mirror - and inflation is closer than it appears.

I've never appeared at class reunions. Although I've wondered about classmates, I've never been sufficiently motivated to go and find out whatever happened to so-in-so - which, I guess, makes me a "whatever happened to". I think I've aged reasonably well and done some interesting things. That's my opinion anyway and I'm sticking to it.

As I get older, so do my heroes. When one passes away, it's sad but expected. What isn't expected is my thinking a celebrity had already died. Maybe I should rethink going to reunions - just to dispel any possible mistakes about me.

At least reunions wouldn't be one "do you remember when" after another anymore. That's because people don't say remember anymore. Now we drop the "re" and say "member".

I bet most people don't "member" Grover Cleveland was both the twenty-second and twenty-fourth president of the United States. Grover Cleveland's picture was on the one thousand dollar bill. In case you're wondering whatever happened to the one thousand dollar bill, the government stopped printing it in 1946.

Now the one hundred dollar bill is the biggest denomination printed. It's the one with Benjamin Franklin on it - but whatever happened to common sense? His picture should be on the penny. After all, it was Benjamin Franklin who said, "A penny saved is a penny earned".

About the Author
Knight Pierce Hirst takes humorous looks at life. Take a minute to make yourself smile at http://knightwatch.typepad.com
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