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Back to Humor

What Happened To Penny Candy?


by Knight Pierce Hirst

What my grandmother said is still true - a penny saved is a penny earned. One of my friends buys a lottery ticket every day. Because I don't, I save thirty-six thousand five hundred cents a year. I don't, however, sell my thoughts for a penny. Because of inflation, I want at least a dime.

Store owners don't want copper coins at all. Because making change with Lincoln-headed pieces of change isn't worth a cent of aggravation, the store owners give them to customers when they need them.

Big box stores don't have everything I need; but I'm continually amazed by their inventory - from tangerines to televisions. It's great shopping for big families; and even though I don't have a big family, I stock up on non-perishables until - our storage space perishes.

I buy perishables at the supermarket, where I save money with coupons. Yes, I know I pay more for coupon items because the manufactures raise their cost to cover the cost of coupons; but if I didn't use the coupons, I'd be paying more than more.

Then there are the coupons in the mail. I get coupons from a bed and bath store almost weekly - twenty percent off one item. If I had three coupons, I used to go through the checkout line three times. Now the store's policy has changed. A small step for this woman might not be a giant leap for mankind, but it's fewer steps.

Fewer isn't good when it comes to movies. Although I love watching movies in a theater with fellow movie-goers - munching a snack I snuck in to save money - movies turned into horror shows when the ticket price went over ten dollars. Thank goodness for matinees or George Clooney would never look life-size again.

Thank goodness for early-bird dinners - for other people, that is. If I could persuade my husband to eat two meals a day - like at ten in the morning and five at night - I'd fly at the chance of saving money on early-bird dinners. Because John insists on eating three meals a day, I have to cook more. Sometimes it's the eat-at-home bird that gets the worm.

Of course, if I had a penny for every time I've talked to my sons about saving money, I'd be cruising the Caribbean right now. I'm not - but come to think of it, neither is my mother.

About the Author
Knight Pierce Hirst takes humorous looks at life. Take a minute to make yourself smile at http://knightwatch.typepad.com
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