Some aspects of my personal development have developed unexplainably slowly. Why did I wait so long to appreciate naps? Naps revitalize me more than energy drinks and they're more luxurious than bubble baths. Oh, now I remember why I didn't take naps. I didn't have time.
Facials are another luxury I postponed too long. Why did I postpone having my face massaged with a variety of cleansers, hydrators and restoratives while I lay in a dimly lit room listening to relaxingly soft music? Unconsciously I must have been waiting for my wrinkle makers to outgrow their teenage years.
Then I finally got permanent makeup. Because I'm make-up challenged, I love waking up in the morning with my eyeliner, brow liner and lipstick already on. They're tattoos that grow old gracefully.
Although growing hair requires no skill, my impatience with the awkward, in-between stages made me shortsighted about my hair for years. Who knew when you're growing your hair, people attribute your bad hair days to those awkward stages.
For years my political personal development was frustratingly awkward. Then I re-registered as an Independent. At least now I have more chance to find an acceptable candidate to vote for in the primaries.
Having children should have taught me lots of acceptable ways to say no, but no. Their teachers had me on speed dial, my neighbors had my phone number listed as an alternative to calling 911 and my friends have always had my number when it comes to not being able to say no. When I didn't want to do something, I couldn't say no because a little voice in my head would call me selfish. Finally, I got the nerve to tell the little voice it should get out more and talk to other people.
When I get out and talk to other people, I occasionally wonder why I didn't wait longer to have children, why I didn't wait longer to have my professional life in order before disordering my entire life with children, why I impersonalized my personal development with children. I know why. Because I wanted children - as in more than one. After one child most late-in-lifers seem to develop a been-there-done-that attitude. Not me. When I'm ready, I want my children to be old enough to take care of me. I'm going to have a wardrobe of t-shirts made that say, "What goes around comes around". |
