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Back to Humor

Can You Weather The Storm?


by Knight Pierce Hirst

"I wish I could, but I don't have time". "Sorry, but I have too much to do". "Maybe I can fit it in next week". Monday turns into Thursday and Thursday turns into the following month. I feel like a dog chasing its tail. It's time to stop and smell the beef jerky treat.

It's time to enjoy the reason we moved to Southern California - the weather. For my husband and me living in the East had become one of those four-letter words - snow. Now I'm addicted to sunshine.

If it rains, I try to remember what my grandmother used to say, "If there wasn't rain, what would umbrella makers do?" Well, Grandmother, they could become Southern California weather forecasters.

You don't need formal training. All you need is good hair and a charming smile. The smile is very useful when they explain why their weather predictions weren't accurate.

Forecasting weather in Southern California isn't any harder than forecasting nighttime. Instead of having a degree in meteorology, weather forecasters should have windows in their offices.

The average Southern Californians don't have a barometer, humidity readings and satellite pictures to predict rain. We know that there's a good chance it will rain if we've just washed our car. We also know that there's a good chance it won't rain if we carry our umbrellas all day.

If weather forecasters predict partly cloudy skies, I know more about them than I do about the upcoming weather. They're pessimists. If they were optimists, they'd predict partly sunny skies.

In the musical, "Man from La Mancha", Don Quixote sings, "Whether I'm right or whether I'm wrong - I've got to be me". If you change the word whether to weather, you've got the perfect theme song for all weather forecasters.

Unfortunately, these people need our sympathy more than they need a theme song. If their weather reports get lower rating than their competition does, they're weather beaten.

Family and friends living in the Midwest, as well as the East, give Southern California weather low ratings because we don't have seasons. I can weather the storm of their jealousy - especially November through March.

After all, it's been scientifically proven that weather affects our moods. For me sunshine makes me feel happy, rain makes me feel depressed and fog makes me feel lonely. However, when we lived in New Jersey, snow made me feel like - moving.

About the Author
Knight Pierce Hirst takes humorous looks at life. Take a minute to make yourself smile at http://knightwatch.typepad.com
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