Look up the back of the kitchen cupboard, or under the stairs in any house in Britain and you will find a product of industrial design that has been hidden away since its first use. Get someone in the house to admit is was useless and you're on a losing streak.
If the husband bought the gadget it was highly important and absolutely necessary at the time of purchase. Any product of industrial design deserves a loving place in the garage. What the wife wants to know is how come this desperately needed piece has been taking up kitchen floor space, gathering dust and simply being a thing for her to bash her shins on frequently. This is where it will stay until she puts it under the stairs.
If the wife bought the gadget and it costs over a pound the husband will see it as a useless waste of money. He will complain, no matter what products it can slice, dice, clean or create. To him it is a useless piece of industrial design unless it is something he wanted. If she uses it once and finds it's a pig to clean she may well get it out a few times, using it in front of her husband whistling like it's the easiest thing in the world before his back is turned and she slides it up the back of the cupboard.
There can't be many people who don't have a juicer tucked away somewhere. Not a useless gadget in itself, in fact, if you are on a health kick it is absolutely essential. Of course, this only works if you get up at the crack of dawn to start whizzing and mixing and pulping just so you can have a drink. I always thought that was what those cartons on the supermarket shelf were for but maybe that's just me.
Products of industrial design always start out as an innovative idea in someone's mind. These ideas are normally generated from a job that someone finds particularly difficult and precede the phrase that begins 'Why don't they make something that....'
And so we have the scissors with the laser light. These were created by someone who got the hump when they couldn't cut in a straight line and thought this would be a good idea. Great idea if you have a steady hand - useless if you have a shaky hand and that is why you can't cut straight in the first place.
Then we have the 200 pounds electric nail file that promises to give you salon perfect nails. This replaces the 1.50 pounds emery board that you can get in the corner shop - sensible. This must have been made by a man in an anorak who decided his wife spent too much money on emery boards or too long in the nail salon. Yeah right - 'cos that'll stop her!
Do these sort of people not understand just why we go to nail salons? It's not a simple matter of getting our nails done for vain reasons. There is a whole aura about the process. We start off by feeling down and ugly. This usually accompanies that time of month when we're feeling fat too. Then we focus on one aspect of ourselves - often our nails. Everything is going wrong in our lives because we have bad nails.
A trip to the salon will cheer us up no end. The smell of acetone, the banter of the orange ladies and the constant praise that we now look beautiful all work a treat. Set off a good set of nails with the perfect outfit with matching shoes, handbag and maybe a hair trim and you will come home to a much happier lady. |
