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Back to Humor

Are Sitters An Endangered Species?


by Knight Pierce Hirst

I am one of the lucky ones. I work at home. My commute is less than thirty seconds and I'm much less likely to spill Starbuck's coffee on my lap. However, all house and no play makes for the occasional need of a sitter - but where have all the sitters gone?

Sitters seem to have become an endangered species. The bald eagle is an endangered species and I'm beginning to think bald eagles are bald from scratching their heads in sitter frustration.

Between the plentiful past and the endangered present, a sitter could be lured into a home with a color TV. Because today's sitters think TV's have always been color, getting them requires new lures.

The remote control for a wide-screen, plasma TV would be a good lure. The sitter could change channels without interrupting phone conversations on the phone - although a video phone would be better.

Converting the kitchen into a McDonald's - complete with drive-through window - would be a very good lure, as well as be reasonable assurance my children would be fed. It would also provide the sitter with contact with the outside world.

A McDonald's would be nice, but internet assess on my computer is a necessity. How else would sitters persuade their parents that their homework would get done?

Last, but certainly not least, I have to pay the sitter more than the competition - my neighbors - are paying. Although there's no scientific proof, I believe whooping cranes would still be whooping it up on Saturday nights if they had figured that out.

Like other endangered species, sitters are numbered - phone numbered. I regularly check the supermarket bulletin board for sitters' phone numbers. I've also reluctantly traded numbers with other frustrated parents.

So far I haven't been desperate enough to trade my sitter-search strategy. As soon as a new family moves into the neighborhood - I'm talking anywhere within a five-mile radius - I'm on their doorstep to welcome them AND to find out if they have a sitter-age child.

For me there's nothing more welcoming to my ears than hearing those three, little words - I can sit. If a sitter can't come as early or stay as late as I'd like, I change my plans.

When you're bumped by an airline, you can get another flight. When you're bumped by a sitter, you stay home and watch your children outgrow the need for this endangered species.

About the Author
Knight Pierce Hirst takes humorous looks at life. Take a minute to make yourself smile at http://knightwatch.typepad.com
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