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Back to Humor

How Natural Is The Natural Look?


by Knight Pierce Hirst

There I was, walking through the department store when an attractive man in a white lab coat and brightly striped tie asked if I'd like a new look.

Being morning challenged, I unintentionally have a new look every day. However, he was offering a professional new look - a free, professional, new look.

My answer, of course, was yes; and fifteen minutes later there was a new me. That's less time than it takes me to wipe the shower steam off the bathroom mirror and decide hair scrunching and putting on lipstick will have to do.

Because I'd been concerned about getting the Tammy Fay look, I'd told him I wanted to look natural. "Of course", said Mr. Arno. He held a mirror in front of my face and said, "That's the natural look".

No, I told myself. I don't look natural. I look like two days after chairing the school rummage sale and like only six hours sleep because I couldn't say no to David Letterman.

Well...a little cream concealer hid the circles under my eyes and some liquid foundation evened my complexion. Okay, so what I wanted was the unnatural natural look; but Mr. Arno didn't stop there.

To make my eyebrows look thicker he used two shades of brow powder. To make my eyes look bigger he used three shades of eye shadow, then eyeliner, then mascara. Actually, just telling me the cost of the eye makeup would have created the same wide-eyed look.

To accentuate my mouth Mr. Arno outlined my lips, brushed on lipstick and topped that with gloss. Yes, it looked much better than when I sleepily rub a tube of lipstick across my mouth; but who has time? I'd been using a smile to accentuate my mouth.

Finally, to give me that vibrantly alive look - a look I haven't had since I was a well-rested teen - he liberally applied blush. Blush in a compact - how convenient. Until then my main source of blush had been my brother-in-law's jokes.

Yes, Mr. Arno created a new me; and he assured me I could recreate me at home. I doubted it. If you look at my checkbook, you can see I'm not good at covering my mistakes.

Maybe a little less stress and a little more sleep will naturally improve my natural look. But...to avoid creating more worry lines, I asked Mr. Arno for his business card.

About the Author
Knight Pierce Hirst takes humorous looks at life. Take a minute to make yourself smile at http://knightwatch.typepad.com
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