Take your elbows off the table, don't talk with food in your mouth, don't run in the house - I thought diamond sorters were less picky than my mother. Then I had children and I understood - almost. I still think sending me to a summer camp that taught manners was a bit extreme.
Telling my sons to masticate with their mouths closed got their attention because it sounded risque, but it took longer to teach them to take what was nearest when food was passed. They'd contort their bodies to be nearest the biggest piece.
Eat-and-run children aren't particularly interested in learning table etiquette. I tried motivating mine by telling them to pretend we were eating at the White House. Then one asked if we had to pretend we were Republicans too.
Nevertheless, I knew I was making progress when my boys started to correct me. I'd make the mistake of talking with food in my mouth when correcting them. I persisted and eventually achieved the true sign of success - another parent complimented my children's manners. That's like receiving the Oscar for etiquette!
When my sons progressed to pointing out others' mistakes, I was proud; but I realized I hadn't succeeded in teaching them not to point. When they were taught to say "Thank you", they were also taught to say, "You're welcome"; but something went wrong. It seems the entire, English-speaking world needs to be re-taught to say, "You're welcome" - NOT, "No problem"!
Yelling - yes problem. I didn't understand why my mother hated my yelling questions from another room - until my children yelled questions for me. However, modern technology made not yelling easier for them to learn than it was for me. They grew up within reach of phones - phones with intercom buttons.
Then there are cell phones, which have led to new bad manners. When I see people using cell phones in restaurants, I see it as a call for help. I want to go to the table to politely explain it's not polite. I don't because I think I'd have to yell to get their attention.
When in doubt about what to do when dining with others, I told my sons to do whatever the host did - even though that doesn't always work. My high school, math teacher attended a luncheon for Mrs. Einstein. A small orchid decorated each guest's plate. Everyone had to eat the orchids - because Mrs. Einstein did. |
