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Back to Humor

Is There Other Than A Mother?


by Knight Pierce Hirst

The word "other" is contained in the word "mother" for a very good reason. A mother does so many other things - like nursing. Both my sons were healthy babies; but when they started school, they brought home more colds and flus than PTA notices. Although they wouldn't share toys, they had no problem sharing chicken pox and measles. Sometimes my sons had fevers when they were sick and sometimes they didn't. However, as they got older, I discovered that a sickness without a fever was often caused by being sick of school.

As my boys got older, I must have been just a few votes short of a Nobel Peace Prize. With two sons who reveled in sibling rivalry, I was an active peace negotiator. I called more timeouts than the referees at their basketball games. When my boys did something wrong, they had to write three paragraphs - what they did, why they did it and what they should have done - spelling and grammar counted. As a result, both of them are better writers than wrongers.

When I cooked for my family, I didn't believe in spending more time preparing a meal than they spent eating it. My favorite cookbook was "99 Gourmet Meals In Less Than 15 Minutes". That put "me" in gourmet. However, I preferred to put "rest" in restaurant.

Raising two boys qualified me as a one-woman cleaning crew. I learned how to get dirt out of carpets and clothes. I learned how to get it off floors, walls and windows. When it came to dirt, I thought teenage boys were the worst. Then I realized adults spread verbal dirt even farther.

Then there was driving. After-school activities, music lessons, sports practices, social engagements - as soon as my first son started school, I became a chauffeur. As soon as my second son started school, I became aware there's an unwritten law that no two children can go to the same place at the same time. Although this sounds grammatically incorrect, while my sons were learning to decline verbs, the driving was done by a driven woman.

And what do mother's get for all their nursing and cooking and cleaning and driving? We get Mother's Day. Fine; but if we're going to get just one day a year, I think Mother's Day should be celebrated on a different day - on November 1st. November 1st is All Saints' Day.

About the Author
Knight Pierce Hirst takes humorous looks at life. Take a minute to make yourself smile at http://knightwatch.typepad.com
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