Kids are born winners. They feel they can do it all. In kindergarten, everyone raises their hand, everyone tries a new activity, and everyone wants to try again when they can't do something the first time.
Yet, as time goes by, they begin to lose this fearlessness and they start to doubt themselves.
They doubt their ability to give the right answer, they doubt their ability to perform and they doubt their ability to learn.
They become like wilted flowers that stop showing their beauty. One of the causes is the negative thoughts in their heads. By the 2nd grade, kids hear negative comments 7 times more than positive comments.
That means for every "Great job!" they hear, "You don't know what you're doing, you can't do that, let me do that, what are you doing?" Get the picture?
The bad news is, if something isn't done quickly, your children will develop ingrained thoughts of inferiority, insecurity and failure. They'll slowly lose their identity and begin to fall in with the wrong crowd.
The good news is, it's fairly easy to turn around and it costs nothing but your desire to have happy children.
Here are three ways to begin to help your children achieve like they used to;
1 - Be a positive role model. When you have difficulties doing something say, "I can do this. And if I can't I'm smart enough to find someone who can help me."
You see, your kids watch you and register how you react to difficult circumstances. Maybe it's a flat tire, maybe it's hooking up the DVD player, who knows. Just remember, the words and attitude you use are being transmitted to your kids.
2 - When learning something, show your child how you need to keep trying. Don't let frustration get the best of you. Show your kids that patience and persistence pay off. Use positive phrases as you figure things out.
3 - When you're successful at something, share your joy and your expectation that you knew it would work out. Make a point to reinforce the mindset you had from the start that helped you achieve your goal. This way, your kids will see the learning process up close and will be able to use it themselves when you're not around.
You see, your kids need to re-connect with their innate magic, their innate ability to feel powerful. And that comes from an inner belief that nothing is impossible.
Don't forget, schools separate them into achievers and underachievers, society calls 2nd place the first loser.
All these things add up. Don't let your comments at home make it worse.
You can change that by giving them a blueprint for success they can use anywhere at anytime. And it all starts with the words and phrases that they hear swirling around in their heads.
Make sure they are words and phrases that empower, not destroy. |
