Many societies still follow the tradition of arranged marriage and love marriages are still looked upon with suspicion because of their comparatively low success rates.
Pros and Cons of Love Marriages
Love marriage is an arrangement wherein the couples get married after getting to know each other for a considerable period of time. Such couples tend to have a better understanding of each other’s opinions, ways, and habits because in a love marriage, couples get to spend a lot of time with each other even before they get married.
The courtship period provides a good opportunity to see your partner in many kinds of situations. In most love marriages, love happens over a period of time after getting to know the other person. In addition, most love marriages have a strong foundation of friendship because seldom do couples jump into a relationship without first getting to know each other. Therefore, it is easier for both the partners to just be themselves after a relationship blooms out of this friendship; there is no need to put up a pretentious act or be someone you are not.
People in love marriages have a very strong level of trust because most of the couples tend to have a long courtship period. In this courtship period, couples get to know all about each other’s past as well as current lives. Therefore, there is no element of doubt in the couples’ mind about anything concerning each other’s lives. People in love marriages love each other as a person and not what they are from the outside. This makes the bond of marriage even stronger.
Some people argue that the expectations of the couple before getting into a love marriage are so high that the actual marriage may turn out to be disappointing. It is common for couples in love marriages to start a fight with the sentence beginning with “Before marriage you used to….” Such comparisons are only natural because people think that things will remain constant even after marriage.
However, marriage brings with it a lot of responsibilities and amidst these responsibilities it may not be possible to have the same puppy love that you experienced before marriage. While some people accept this change and take it in their stride, there are others who find it very hard to get used to this change. This is when things start becoming tough in a love marriage because people start doubting if the love still exists or not.
Pros and Cons of Arranged Marriages
Arranged marriage is an arrangement wherein the families of the couple get together to fix a match for their respective children. The parents of the marrying couple play the main role in such type of marriages. Couples are allowed to meet with each other for a few times before their marriage. The biggest benefit of an arranged marriage is lack of expectations.
The bride as well as the groom get married to each other with an open mind because they both know very little of each other before getting married. Their marriage itself is more about discovering things about one another than just settling in with one another as is the case with love marriages. This period of discovering each other can keep the fun in arranged marriage alive for a very long time.
In addition, couples in arranged marriage do not experience any problems in reaching a compromise with each other when the situation demands it. Couples keep their expectations from each other low and this helps them resolve their fights in a much more easy manner. However, it is important to understand that such couples may not achieve anything productive from their fights because both of them may be more keen on brushing off the matter.
However, couples in love marriage are more keen on resolving their differences. Couples in arranged marriages might never feel in love with each other because love can only come in a relationship when you share a special bond with your partner. This special bond may or may not form after marriage.
Arranged Marriages Lead to Fewer Divorces
Couples in arranged marriage typically hold very strong traditional family values. In addition, such couples usually are a part of a more conservative society. Often, arranged marriage is termed as a marriage of two families rather than of two people. Therefore, there is a lot of family and societal stigma attached to a divorce. This is one of the main reasons why people who are in arranged marriages never opt for a divorce.
In arranged marriages, couples do not have any rosy view of marriage; they perceive marriage as an eventual next step of growing older and have very practical view of marriage. This practical view, though may not keep the affection alive in a marriage, helps to keep the couple together.
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